Crush deflate Bats & more 6-2

The Crush held open tryouts this weekend, as over 200 persons with Special Needs, 10 Firefighters, 4 county police, and other random park patrons participated.

No players were picked up in the process, but Crush resident ladies man, Greg Wittmer was seen signing autographs near the fence line.  To date, no lawsuits have been filed with the Allegheny County Courts.

The Pittsburgh Crush faced the Gray Bats this weekend, and defeated them 6-2 at Pie Traynor Field.  On the final weekend of the regular season, the Bats even hired Ben Sorosky to take the hill.  Ben Sorosky was in contention for Pitcher of the Year in the NABA pitching for the Rakers, and tossed a complete game for the Blues at the Blue Gray Tournament.  Unfortunately for the Bats, they played shorthanded and outnumbered, as they rounded out their roster with a Ghostbuster and a inflatable doll (known affectionately as iDoll) from Condom Nation.

Joe Graff led off the game with a ground ball to short, that was prompty booted on the smooth playing surface of the Pie.  Seeking to avoid a early run of errors that could derail the Bats,  manger Larry Zalewski moved iDoll in to play shortshop.

After a single by Anthony Talotta, Mike Martin make a diving catch of a Christian Necheff drive to the gap to keep runners at 1st and second.  The next play backfired on the Bats’ strategy, as Jarod Minford hit a ball hard at iDoll.  While iDoll fielded the ball cleanly (in the mouth), it was unable to make a play to a base, and left the bases loaded for Brian Strom.

A sacrifice fly from Strom and a RBI groundout from Rob Logan would give the Crush a 2-0 lead in the top frame.  The inning would end on a rather odd play.  Rob Logan tried to beat a Wittmer ground ball to the hole, in this case, iDoll’s mouth.  The ball reached iDoll first, and on a bang-bang play, Logan was tagged out by iDoll.

Mark Guthrie took the mound for the Crush in the bottom of the first and promptly began setting down 12 of the next 14 batters he faced.  Zalewski offered a hit and a walk as the only baserunner for the bats in the first four frames.

The Crush added a deciding four runs in the top of the second inning, and would coast offensively from there, with hits from Graff and Logan to keep the Bats honest.

Strom entered to pitch in the sixth, and after a one out walk to Rich Ament, Ament stole second and third.  With the shutout on the line, Strom struck out a Bat and got iDoll with a stiff fastball to end the threat.

Joe Graff closed the game by walking two men and allowing a single after a groundout.  With one run in, and runners on second and third, Graff struck out iDoll on a 3-2 fastball before getting a groundout to end the game.

The Crush ride a wave of momentum into the playoffs having finished with a 3-1 marks against the other two playoff contenders.  They will face the winner of the Bats vs. Busters on November 11th.

Offensive Player of the Game:

iDoll – 0-3 with 3 strikeouts looking, 2 errors, 47 appalled parents of Autistic children, 2 unamused safety officers, 1 aroused clown, 1 deflated BJ (Rankin)

co-Pitcher of the Game:

Mark Guthrie – 4 IP, 1 hit, 0 R, 1 BB, 4 K

co-Pitcher of the Game:

Joe Graff – 1 IP, 2 BB, 2 ER, 1 hit, 2 SB allowed, 1 K, 0 HBP (a career best), 0 broken nails.

Game Notes:

-Late arrivers to the game were greated to a closed parking lot, as demand for tickets to the game exceeded expectations, and players had to walk to get to the field.

-The crowd of 237 quickly dwindled after the Crush jumped to a 6-0 lead (that, and the clowns and firemen left)

-4 people and a flock of canadian geese witnessed the final out.

-Guest blogger Joe Graff reached base three times, scoring twice while stealing two bases.

-Joe Graff stole a base while he wasn’t even on base.

-Patrick Piscuini stole two bases: one for him, one for Graff as a courtesy runner

-Thanks Pat!

-iDoll was offered $250,00 per penetration in the next Jenna Jamison feature

-Christian Necheff and MarkGuthrie are disappointed they were denied membership to the Morgan-Gwin Book Club.

-David Yokitis was last seen on the back of a milk carton.

-The Crush will play in the Fall Championship Game, 9am on 11/1

-The Crush play next week at 11:30am in a consolation game